Goddamn, she’s right…she is the bomb…
Ok, so where are we at today?
I’ve got a lot on my mind right now. Not in a bad way, mind you, just getting ready go go back to Bloomington, and being mindful of just how behind I really am, you know?
I need to go work out, I need to bone up on the French, I need to reorganize the shit I never unpacked, because I don’t need it all. I need to clean out my car, I need to clean up my life, all those types of things.
And then there’s the birthday. Goddamn. 27. 27 years old, and I feel like I have wasted so much time. This was supposed to be the hero years for me, so to speak. This is when I was supposed to be the period where I accomplished the most in life. This is the time where I was supposed to live up to all the expectations that were set out before me.
When I was just a year old, I read aloud for the first time. People have never let me forget it since. When I was a little older, I was given an I.Q. test, (something I don’t actually believe in) and registered an I.Q. of 140-148, which is considered genius level. I was doomed before I started.
Long story short, I believed the hype that was thrust upon me when I was young, and felt that because people already thought me a genius, I didn’t have to prove it by doing well in school. All my life, I have let the arrogance of intelligence infect me by simply underachieving. I fall alot because of this, but then it is also because of this that I usually land on my feet, something to be proud of, I’m sure.
I am a master of taking the low road, and as that is the result, I always do things the hard way. To prove something, to prove what? Am I trying to prove that I am good at taking punishment, most of which is self-inflicted?
You know how I get through all of this? I don’t think about it, I just plough through it. Oh well.
Believe me, this isn’t a pity party, just a self evaluation as I prepare to go back to take the low road again.
I’m still pretty though, so I have that going for me. Haw.