Ok, ok…enough with the love. I’m spoiled by all the comments, because for once people did like I asked them to without bitching, moaning, and general debate. I don’t expect to be that lucky again.
Anyway…I’m seeing a pattern here. The less I bitch about myself, the better my posts are…sort of. So I have something else for you. Something that has been on my mind the last few days, but I figure I want to talk about it now…
The Lonely Grave of Culon The Gangbanger
I used to date a girl named Keshia. This was sometime ago, and although I had feelings for ther then, it seems like a lifetime ago (she was pre-Joy). The logistics of our relationship isn’t all that important, just your normal boyfriend girlfriend bullshit. She was ghetto as hell, and of course, I was better off without her.
Like I said, this isn’t at all about me. Just setting up a point of reference that kind of ties into the last post…loosely.
Towards the end of our relationship, Keisha would disappear alot. She would pick fights with me, all that type of thing. She broke up with me, saying that I wasn’t “hood” enough, that I was simply too nice for her, she need a thug in her life or something along those lines…Like I said, I was better off without her.
Anyway, she ended up with this felon in training, a guy by the name of Culon (pronounced Coo-lawn, I am anal about name pronouncation, given that my name is Hashim.) I knew of Culon through different circles, and I even had dealings with him from time to time, but there wasn’t enough to even call him a mild acquaintance. From what I did know of him, I knew he was bad news.
Right around the time I started seeing Joy, I happened upon Keisha at a house party, and we talked. Being that circles of friends usually collide, I already knew that she was seeing Culon, so when she told me in passing, I wasn’t moved…or even surprised.
As the years passed by, I ran into Keisha here and there, and she was still with Culon…sort of. Being a degenerate criminal kept him in and out of Jail, and I swear, each time I saw her, she was pregnant with another one of his kids.
No, this isn’t me gloating about her choosing the wrong guy over me. It gets better (or worse) than that.
In May of last year, I was out barhopping with some of my friends. We went to this hole in the wall called Jazmin’s. As it usually is, a fight broke out, of which Culon and a couple other people I know were involved in. The fight went outside, and it wasn’t long before people started shooting. Culon was one of the people shot, but he didn’t die.
Culon ended up in a wheelchair, I know this because I ran into him at a barbecue when I got home this summer. He was there with Keisha, who after years of abuse, pregnancies (3), and uninspired ghetto life looked terrible, at least by my standards. The girl was a hollow shell of the person who I thought was hot as hell at the time. It was the last time I saw either one of them to this point.
2 weeks ago, Culon and Keisha were at another barbecue, and the events of that night in May came home to roost. Two men came uninvited to the party, found Culon, kicked over his wheelchair, and shot him 7 times, including two shots two the head and face, guaranteeing a closed casket funeral.
A couple of days ago, I was talking to my friend Cam, shootin the shit like we always do. We talked about what happened to Culon, both agreeing that kicking a man out of his wheelchair and shooting him was pretty cold, but then that was the reward for a life like his. Then he told me something that both enraged me and chilled my blood at the same time.
“Man, you know there isn’t going to be a funeral.”
When I asked him why, he told me that he spoke to Keisha and she told him that whoever shot Culon called his mother and told her that if there was a public funeral, everyone who attended would be shot at…including the coffin. Out of fear, the family had to bury him without any sort of memorial service, and his grave is currently unmarked, at least for the next couple of months or so, in order to avoid vandalism or, yes, even graverobbing.
This is why I could never have lived that life, and the thing that made Keisha leave me all those years ago is exactly what leaves me whole now.
I don’t shed any tears for Culon, and neither should any of you. The truth is he was a thief and a murderer. What happened to him was a long time coming, no one will dispute that. I feel sorry for those who had to deal with him, who felt they loved him or something.
I hate that they couldn’t have a funeral, because more heartless sons of bitches were willing to kill more innocent people just to make a silly ass point.
It’s the life you choose that kills you, the life I walked away from.
I continue to walk away, and I am all the better for it. It’s the Keishas of the world who want to sleep with danger because it exites them, and for all that, they only ever wake up in blood.
I pity that. That’s all any of us can ever do.