Still miserable with the sickness…what the hell’s goin’ on?  Lookin’ forward to a potentially magnificent weekend…it’s what’s keeping me sane right now.  Well, without further ado…On with the show!

“But you know the thing about romance is people only get together right at the very end”…or…”Let us go get the shit kicked out of us by love!”

Funny thing about people…

So there I was, talking to Dan, my old suitemate, and Juliana, the chick from Brazil, about the Average of Perception.  (If you don’t know what that is, read Monday’s post, and you should be up to speed with the rest of us.)

After it has all been said and done, this is the way that it is:  Women date the wrong men.  Men get over too easy on women, it’s worse than insurance fraud.  I can see the look that Dan has in his eyes, as Stephany, some other girl, gets on the back of a motorcycle with an aforementioned “Abercrombie Model”.  Like I said, I can see the look on his face, but he then looks at me and says, “It’s ok, because I’m making myself not care.”

How sad is it that someone has to force themselves not to care.  Juliana follows my words with rapt attention, but doesn’t say much…

I figured, as I told them, that women generally end up with the men that they reject ten years prior.  They have to because they realize the mistakes they made by chasing after what looks better than good, the ideal of what people believe to be true beauty…but it ends up as fool’s gold.

Later, after I finished philosophizing about mistakes and superficiality, I sat in my bed and took a second to think about both sides of that coin.  Shouldn’t we, whoever we are, be able to chase after something that is no good for us?  We indulge in junk food, why not junk relationships?  Does my so-called wisdom actually originate from the bitterness found in not having the perfect body to get all the women I want?

Is it right to blame someone for wanting…someone other than me?

We may not always be as happy as you always dreamed we’d be, but for once, let’s just allow ourselves to be whatever it is we are.

I guess the reason that the Average of Perception exists in my mind is because it has never been in my favor.  I have been the cute guy, but never cute enough to deserve the most attractive women, because I wasn’t the ideal.  I mean imagine if I was…I’d either be infected with AIDS or I’d have 13 children.  Maybe nothing that extreme.  Dirty Harry once said that a man has got to have his limitations, and my body is mine…but it has never been that bad, you know?  My problem is that I see how it affects others.  I see the look on someone’s face when the girl that they want is riding off into the proverbial sunset with someone who is not him.

I have almost everything I want in this world, and that means alot to me.  We do have to let our plans go for the life that waits for us.  This isn’t about settling, it’s about growing.

When you settle (usually for less), you devalue yourself as an individual in the hopes of making sense of why it is that you can’t have what you want…as the song goes: “If you can’t be with the one you love, honey, love the one you’re with…” 


No, what I’m talking about is actually taking a second to open your eyes to what is there.  Don’t let the fear of failure keep you from your dreams.  Whether or not you know it, your ideal someone is probably someone you already know, but circumstance or just plain ignorance keeps you from letting down your guard and accepting the next part of your life with limited trepidation. 

Come and get your love, come and get your love, come and get your love now…

And this is why you mean everything to me.  I didn’t look for you, and you didn’t look for me.  A strange and wonderful coincidence, this is…

Sometimes, all this shit actually ends in “Happily Ever After”…because if it didn’t, if it never happened at least once, just once…would any of us ever bother with it at all?

Daddy says Shangri-La exists in the damndest of places.  How ’bout you join me for a look?


7 responses

  1. i SO love actuallyi like what you have to say… and i agree with a lot of it– and have known these things for a while now, but still they do not seem to better my sittuation… what’s with THAT?

    September 21, 2004 at 3:19 am

  2. You did a good job.  Thank you.
    xoxo  Jess

    September 21, 2004 at 4:43 am

  3. Yet another insightful, and to the point post. Good one.

    September 21, 2004 at 9:05 am

  4. Women do date the wrong men…but it isn’t always about looks or body…sometimes it is about other things…excitement, lifestyle, etc…but when we open our eyes to see what’s in front of us…the space is empty.  All of a sudden…no more emptiness.  Thanks for sharing, as always…I hope you are right about that someone…

    September 21, 2004 at 12:51 pm

  5. I think the “world” will judge you if you are beautiful, and they will judge you if you aren’t.  who do you think critizes the most….the ones who aren’t so beautiful, or the ones who are???  Why do the ones who aren’t critize the ones who are before they’re ever given a chance to show them that they’re pretty cool. 
    I think you’re right though, that sometimes people get off course on what they set out to find because of a person’s look.  Because every guy that I have ever come to be in love with has been beautiful to me no matter how they look to everyone else.   It’s was never an issue with me.  But then I never gave a damn about what my friends opinions were either…and that was what made me so cool!!!! (heehee)

    September 21, 2004 at 1:09 pm

  6. Ok I agree with you to a point, but for me the looks was not the reason I dated the wrong men, it was that the way they treated me was framiliar, similiar to how my father always treated me growing up.  I was something that was meant to follow their orders, they were in charge, I was to listen for I was a woman. 
    It takes alot for someone with a low self esteem to realize they have to break the cycle and believe they deserve the love that a “nice guy” would give them.  If you’ve ever heard “your too nice” well then the girl is probably damaged AND sadly the only person that can fix her is her. 
    Even to this day if you read my blog, I struggle, Tyris is a “good guy” and it’s taken me a long time to trust that he is just that.  Somedays I find myself trying to force him into this exterior of a bad man that’s trying to trick me into believing he’s a good man.  SO I guess my point is, it’s not ALWAYS about looks, because for some guys even if they are hot they are just too nice for someone that has IsSuEs!  LOL

    September 21, 2004 at 3:20 pm

  7. Well, well, well. Looks like Baby Boy is finally getting it, huh?

    September 21, 2004 at 8:34 pm

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