You know…

There is so much in my life that is begging me to be depressed and
angry.  The bright spots exist, but they are few and far inbetween
right now.  I am not seeming to take pleasure in all the things
that I should, and as a result, people always end up on the outside
looking in.  It would be safe to say that these are dark times in
my life, but not absolutely bleek, not enough to completely make me
feel trashed in the aspect of my life. But when I get to feeling this way, I just have to combat that…as ignorantly as possible…

“I got a feeling that behind those jeans is something wonderful just waiting to get out…”

Whenever life gets you down, keeps you wearing a frown
And the gravy train has left you behind…And when your all out of hope
Down at the end of your rope;  nobody’s there to throw you a line

If you ever get so low, that you don’t know which way to go
Come on and take a walk in my shoes…Never worry ’bout a thing
Got the world on a string, cause i’ve got the cure for all of my blues…

I take a look at my enormous penis
And my troubles start a-meltin’ away
I take a look at my enormous penis
And the happy times are comin’ to stay

I gotta sing and I dance when I glance in my pants
And a-feelin’s like a sun shiny day…I take a look at my enormous Pe-e-enis
And a-everything is goin’ my way…

I take a look at my enormous penis (it’s not that hard)
And my troubles start a-meltin’ away…I take a look at my enormous penis
And the happy times are comin’ to stay…
Yeah I got great big amounts in the place where it counts
And the feelin’s like a sun shiny day
I take a look at my enormous pe-e-enis
And a-ev’rything is goin’ my way…

Dear Penis,

I don’t think I like you anymore.  You used to watch me shave, now all you do is stare at the floor, oh dear Penis, I don’t think I like you anymore…

It used to be you and me, a paper towel and a dirty magazine…That’s all we needed to get by…Now it seems that things have changed, and I think that you’re the one to blame…Dear Penis, I don’t like you anymore…

(The reply…)

“Dear Loser,

I don’t think I like you anymore…Cause when you get to drinkin, you put me places I’ve never been before, dear Loser, I don’t like you anymore…”

Why can’t we just get a grip on our man-to-hand relationship?  Come to terms with truely how we feel…If we put our heads together, we’d just stay home forever, dear Penis, I guess I like you after all…

“Oh and Loser, while you’re shavin…shave my balls…”
 

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8 responses

  1. Wow…a penis with ATTITUDE!  Thats what I’m talking about. 

    November 8, 2004 at 5:39 pm

  2. Anonymous

    Such a great song!

    November 8, 2004 at 9:12 pm

  3. Is there something equally for the vagina? (wondering)

    November 9, 2004 at 9:59 am

  4. No DO NOT shave your balls!

    November 9, 2004 at 1:33 pm

  5. just be careful… don’t cut yourself.I’ve seen first hand what happens.. xoxo Jess

    November 9, 2004 at 1:47 pm

  6. You need help, assflag.

    November 10, 2004 at 1:40 am

  7. Shaved balls are prickly!

    November 10, 2004 at 12:34 pm

  8. You disappear too much, you must be a busy man!  I gave you props in a blog I posted like early last week and you didn’t even notice!  SLACKER!!!!

    November 11, 2004 at 3:43 pm

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