I’m just sitting here in my office doing a whole lot of nothing. My mind is going a thousand miles a minute, and yet it feels like I am standing still as the world moves by me just as fast.
I have every reason in the world to be happy. Why aren’t I completely?
Money issues are obviously a weighing issue. I’m pretty far in the hole, with no tangible help in sight. I’m not doing as well in class as I should be…issues of laziness creep in. As tired as I am perpetually, sometimes I don’t feel like I deserve sleep because I haven’t done everything I need to do.
Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the return of the Blues…
My heart, mind, and soul are careening on a vicious rollercoaster, going blindly down the track with no brake to buffer what’s going on. The seconds tick until I hit the wall, but that never happens, I just keep goin…
I wish I could lay in bed and talk about Edgar Allen Poe, Peter Parker, and Quinine.
I wish I could play poker and never lose.
I wish everyone was as calm as I can be, even when they aren’t happy.
I wish the wind was strong enough to hold me up when I was weak.
It’s just a mood, folks. I live and breathe, quite passionately, I might add, so these things happen from time to time. I grow unsatisfied with my worldview, I feel constrained by the looks I get from others who just try to understand.
I wonder what true freedom feels like.