I don’t know what I have to say about anything anymore.  I used to
be able to say what I wanted and have it matter.  It doesn’t.

I’m tired of the mantra my life had taken, trying to do the right
thing, but doing it the wrong way.  I can’t see what the bottom of
that line of thinking gets you, ha.

Not necessarily funny ha ha, but more funny in the fact that you can never escape karma.  It’ll get you every time.

I don’t necessarily want words of encouragement on this one, because I
don’t deserve any.  I don’t deserve very much right now, and it
shows.  Some how I will figure out all the shit that bothers me,
and I’ll even get around to making it right.  Somehow.

I look at a lot of your pages, and I marvel at how much you have lost
in this life.  I see the pain running through the words, and yet,
I never read much about the people or from the people for that matter,
the ones who actually give it all away.  The ones who roll the
dice and get snake eyes, even though they had a free chance at 7’s.

Well, here you go. 

Don’t look up to me, don’t respect my words.  I don’t deserve it, and neither do you.

I will not die with a smile on my face, but I’m sure there are those who will smile.


7 responses

  1. Anonymous

    Yes, you do deserve it. I’ll look up to who I damn well please, ya hear? You have a way of saying what you think and feel in your own way and sometimes your pain or your thoughts are useful in that I can step out of my head and into your world. Even if it’s only for a moment, til the last word’s been said and the last moment read, but all the same, I’m gone.
    So you deserve, for that.Be good…

    December 5, 2004 at 8:03 pm

  2. doing what i can. take it easy.

    December 6, 2004 at 2:45 am

  3. there has to be some sort of balance. things can’t always go well. things can’t always seem right. the trick is being able to rise out of these low patches..
    you don’t always have to find the ‘right’ thing to say or do.
    all you need is honesty.
    i’ve missed reading your words.

    December 6, 2004 at 2:53 am

  4. Well, RYN:  Glad to help!  Damn.  I absolutely love your new profile pic…you definitely are one beautiful MAN.  I feel you in every way though, as far as trying to do the right thing the wrong way, but who knows what’s really right?  And who is it right for?  And who do I do right for?  Myself, my children, blah.  I never feel right unless I focus on others and not myself.  I think if I took a good look at myself and my issues I would be in a straight jacket in a padded room, just rocking back and forth.  Sadly, that sounds like the best vacation ever.  Want to join me? 

    December 6, 2004 at 10:52 am

  5. Damn dog, that pic is ancient!
    Click here, assflute.

    December 6, 2004 at 7:04 pm

  6. Hey assmunch! Learn to read! The very first paragraph read:
    I have like, five gazillion things to write here, but as usual, I’m putting them all off to hit one topic.

    December 6, 2004 at 9:43 pm

  7. Anonymous

    There’s nothing to smile at when you die anyways. Either you’re sad cause you loved life and now it’s over, or you had a shitty life and many regrets.

    December 7, 2004 at 2:06 pm

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