For the record, I don’t like feeling this good or this optimistic…
I get this way when I am pleased, and although I can be both easy and hard to please, certain small pleasures always seem to take me into this false sense of security and hope.
I had been pretty down for the last few days, no one or one thing caused this general malaise, but I think it was a confluence of it all that did me in. I was in a funk, and by all means should be in one now, because feeling that way obviously keeps me low to the ground, and from that position, you can never really fall too far.
So why am I risking feeling this good? Goddamnit, I am like a cat who is in the process of licking himself…now I suppose I should explain why.
Well, to put it briefly and succinctly, Finals are here, and I am already one down and 2 to go on the fucker. I should be in a dour mood because I am only 30 minutes away from sinking a French final that I would have done much better on had I studied. I had a Psych final at 10 this morning, I didn’t study for that one either, but I rolled the dice, and I think I did ok on that one, partially because it only took me 15 or so minutes to complete, so we’ll see how that one turned out.
No, what really pleases me right now is the movie that I am in the final stages of editing. It is exploitative, gruesome, and tacky…and the thought of offending others simply gives me a unique sort of hard-on. Based on the reactions of a girl who happened to be in the lab while I was editing this afternoon, I have hit the jackpot.
It’s only 11 minutes long, but it is an 11 minutes the viewer won’t forget. It’s here where I can just let the ego spill out on the floor like a 34 inch cock. I mean when it comes to making movies, you can’t tell me shit, and thats the way I like it. I love to generate reactions, and I am hoping that when shown in front of a class tomorrow, I just get what I am looking for. And an A as well.
So yeah, I am in a good mood over something trivial. I don’t know if I am liking it too much, because as with all things, I am constantly waiting for the bubble to burst.
And so it goes….