So then there was this thing I used to be able to do with my schmeckel…or…Live From My Sister’s
Anyway, so here I am, spreading all the christmas cheer, which isn’t much, because last time I checked, I was a big fucking Scrooge, but then not really, because I would have NEVER helped that stupid gimp Tiny Tim.
I wish I could say that I liked being here, but wouldn’t you know it, I don’t…ha. I just want to be back home in my personal prison, sucking it up and being in a general malaise because there is nothing to do, and no one to really do it with. I mean all my cronies talk a good game, and that’s one thing, but goddamn, can there be a lazier group of people to deal with in this world?
I just got a gift from my sister, some cologne from Hollister…hmmm…can’t fit my fat ass into their clothes, but I can wear their scent…gnarly…heh.
Oh…where was I? To be honest, things are ok in that way that they are not ok at all. I need some action, some movement, some reason to do more than lay in the bed all day like some POW in the Hanoi Hilton waitng to either be repatriated or shot in the head. Shit like this proves that animals don’t have it as easy as we think. If all I had to do was lick my balls and scratch off the fleas, then show me the way to the blow your brains out factory right fuckin now…you feel me, smell me, taste me…dawg?
Well, I think I am going to go back to the world of the feisty festive. I can’t wait to go back to my icy prison, because it is always easier to complain than exist…
Have a good Christmas to all those who give a fuck. For the rest of us…Happy Festivus…